One of the simplest ways to teach our children the value of corporate responsibility is to involve them in household chores.

This is the antidote to selfishness or self-centeredness. Of course, we must be wary of safety issues and should use our discernment in determining what chores our young child can do without hurting themselves or others.

“Since they were 4 years old, our son and daughter have always been included in the duty roster at home,” shares Mr. Foong, “even though we had a maid, we still made sure that the kids helped in simple things like mopping the floor, washing the dishes, and watering the plants.”

Children may sometimes want and expect things to be given immediately to them.

They want the food now. They want to watch the DVD now. They want to go out and play now. In fact many teenagers still expect things to happen instantly and many of us as parents often try our best to rush so that they do not need to wait.

But waiting, is not always a bad thing. It builds patience and encourages us to have realistic expectations.

Having said that, our expectations on how long our child can wait also must be realistic. A 2-year-old may not have the capacity to sit quietly and wait for 2 hours before they can play. Patience develops gradually with time.

The key is not to be afraid to keep our children waiting sometimes. Let them wait for awhile. “Just wait a little while,” is a very important and valuable phrase in the parenting dictionary.

Mrs. King shares her experience with her 3 year old daughter. “My husband and I have been trying over the last 2 months to encourage patience in our daughter. Whenever she asks for something, like milk, or TV, or a toy she is looking for, our immediate response is to say; ‘just wait for a bit’. At the start she was not used to waiting, but I have observed that she has become a little more patient. She knows that if she waits, we are trustworthy and will eventually deliver what we have promised.”

Its often difficult, especially for new parents to say ‘No’ to their child’s requests. Some children learn very quickly how to get whatever they want from their parents through crying, shouting, looking cute and sad etc.

As parents our responsibility is to make judgements on what is best for our children. Sometimes we say ‘yes’ because what they are asking for is reasonable, sensible and deliverable. Other times, we should say ‘no’ because the request is no reasonable and not in the best interest of the child.

Children have to learn their limits. They have to learn that sometimes in life you do not get what you want. Overcoming the sadness and disappointment is part of character development. As adults they will need to overcome many disappointments when their expectations are not met.

We need not be harsh or angry when saying no to our children. We can empathize with them and let them know that we understand how disappointed they are. But we must also stand firm in our decisions.

One of the common criticisms leveled at the middle class younger generation is that some of them lack resourcefulness both in terms of their ability and their attitude.

This may be due to the fact that some children grow up in environments where everything is done and delivered to them. They may, therefore, develop an unhealthy over-dependency on others.

“Misha, my 20 year old, really struggled when she first went overseas for her university education,” relates Puan Omar. “When she was growing up with us, we did everything for her. Over there she had to cook, clean, pay electricity and water bills, and manage her own bank account. While I am happy that she eventually learnt to be independent, I wished we had given her more training in that when she was younger.”